Stand back and Stand by!

(COMBO) This combination of pictures created on September 29, 2020 shows US President Donald Trump (L) and Democratic Presidential candidate and former US Vice President Joe Biden during the first presidential debate at Case Western Reserve University and Cleveland Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio, on September 29, 2020. (Photos by SAUL LOEB and JIM WATSON / AFP) (Photo by SAUL LOEB,JIM WATSON/AFP via Getty Images)

I said “white men” on twitter an uncomfortable number of times on debate night. It’s hard to say WHITE out loud, and stand by it. Did you see what that fool did up there? It’s hard to acknowledge that I found it hard to do as well. 

White solidarity (pretending  about or ignoring whiteness altogether) is basic security for most of us (learned from trauma, exploited by the traumatized bully-in-chief). Of course it plays out differently for different individuals, communities, classes and cultures. Difference is real. Systemic oppression is real. 

White fragility is a critical race construct we all share. We all have it because race is made up. 

This is what that weird, eye-roll’y, talking point means: “Race/gender is constructed.” 

Fragility in this sense (fear of death) is real. Racism is real. Fragility isn’t strict according to “race” because there’s no such thing as scientific race. 

Race is like gender. They are the subjective meanings we make of the objective reality of sexual and other difference. Sex is real. Gender is not. Difference is real. Race is not. Culture is much more complicated than “5 races. 2 genders,” objectively. (See spectra.) 

Racism and Sexism are real theories to explain the outcomes we get from our systems. 

White Supremacy and Patriarchy are theories of our social operating systems—our shared culture, rituals, traditions, past times, and resources—and their outcomes. These systems are not essential. We can do better. 

Start here: sex and difference are essential. 

Freedom, equality, dignity, love, and joy are essential human outcomes/needs/expectations; whatever container works for you.  We need systems to support our essential humanity. 

Anger and violence are also essential to humans. Life ain’t no crystal stair. There is a lot to accept in progress. This is what non-violent practice teaches by the way—ancient human peace and enlightenment includes acceptance of pain and struggle, which make joy and abundance possible.  Now you got me started and I’ll stop. 

Bottomline, in 2020 we know enough about human systems and human dignity to do better, and this moment in history is a tragedy because of that truth. That’s my current narrative structure, culturally. It continues, 

Doing better is everywhere, but our big media systems are mean and segregationist, so we miss a lot. We leave so much value on the table—not consolidating, cooperating, building coalitions, being at collaborative peace. Converging in progress. 

Korin Mills, LLC teaches a collaborative work process called Convergence. It takes time and yields a joyful and abundant harvest for willing practitioners. Find out more.

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